London - Arabstoday
A recent poll indicates that eight in ten of us put up with people who cause more harm than good Our friends are supposed to be our well-wishers standing by us no matter what. However, they can also be our worst enemies reveals a recent poll that looks at toxic friendship. According to the poll eight in ten of us put up with people who cause more harm than good. While a recent survey indicates that 84 per cent of women struggle with so-called 'toxic friends' who are self-absorbed, emotionally draining, critical or backstabbing. Sixty-five percent of those polled complained of having a self-obsessed friend, and 59 per-cent accused their closest acquaintances of being emotional 'vampires' - draining all their energy reserves. Clinical psychologist and traumatologist Dr Seema Hingorrany says, "Women tend to hold on to relationships and friendships for a longer time, sometimes out of guilt or sometimes simply because of a misplaced belief that they will be able to change the situation or their friend. Also, it's harder to part ways with someone you have known for a long time because of the familiarity you share with each other. They don't want to turn their backs on a friend when they probably see them as needing them most." Leisha D'Souza who recently parted with a long-time friend, says, "Just like any relationship friendship too goes through its ups and downs. When my friend and I started having problems initially we tried working things out but then the blame game started and things just went downhill from there. I was reluctant to part ways even though every conversation depressed me and dragged things on for over a year till I finally gave up." So when is the right time to cut your losses and move on? Seema says, "It's best to move on when sub consciously you have started avoiding the friend and every conversation weighs you down and drains you emotionally." Number game The poll, of 18,000 women and 4,000 men by an international magazine found just over half had an over-critical friend, while 45 per cent reported backstabbing behaviour and barbed comments. Though a third admitted that they would end a friendship with someone who was untrustworthy, 83 per cent said that they had let a friendship drag on longer than it should have done because the prospect of 'breaking up' was too daunting. Instead, 37 per cent blocked those they didn't like on a social networking site, while 53 'downgraded' friends from people they saw regularly to just occasionally. Five toxic friend personality types - Self-absorbed - Emotional vampires - Over-critical - Backstabbing - Unreliable 3